[Chorus 1: Nick Fury]

My name is Tonya - my name is Nick

My name is Diana - my name is Nick

My name is Sarah - my name is Nick

And whaddya take me for, the last kid to get picked?



[Chorus 2: Big Oak]

My name is Diana - my name is Oak

My name is Tonya - my name is Oak

My name is Sarah - my name is Oak

Now whaddya take me for, the little local funny joke?



Now, why is that?  Why do I get passed by?

It's not like I have a peg leg and a glass eye

I'm a nice guy, but that's my curse

We all know that they say that's last and the jerks finish first

See I don't get that, it makes no sense to me

I'm not stocky so the girls won't even mention me?

Shit, I'm no J. Crew model

But my mind can offer you more than that beer in your bottle

Plus, I can tell you a lot more about life

than some smuck who wears a see-through jersey and packs a knife

Or some jerk that will talk you out of your panties

in a half an hour, and then forget your name in half that time

My name is Oak, my profession is to talk in rhyme

But when it comes to talkin to girls I'm at the back of the line

Because I'm nice, the girls think I'm harmless

The shallow guys with cash, those are their targets

The good thing is, I talk to lots of girls

But it always heads straight to the friend zone

More often than the Rams get to the end zone

Which makes it difficult to get to the bed zone

But I'm not gonna change, I'll always be the same

I've had a couple of girls, that understood my game

So I've had some success here, to all the dimes of the world

I'm coming for you next year



[Chorus 2]

[Chorus 1]



[Nick Fury]

See I'm, five-seven and a little bit more

I got a, head of hair that the girls adore

I never call them a bitch slut skeezer or whore

At least never to their face and if I did they deserved it

But, I got class so I'm holdin the door

I guess I must be the doorman cause I'm gettin ignored

I'm the nice guy except for the new tattoo

And the small criminal record startin back in high school

But because these reasons, seems we exist in different seasons

Yours range from cold to freezin

That's what your back told me as you walked right by

But I've been watchin too closely and I figured out why

I need to, grab your arm when you first walk in

I need to check out other girls while we're talkin

I'll never, call you back ever tell you how I feel

I see that's the way to get 'em - keepin it real

These L.A. girls man they're all the same

There must be somethin bout surroundin 'em with fortune and fame

That's why I sit in the back just a little bit lifted

Eyes a little shut, mind a little more gifted

Now she's talkin shit, I got a chip on my shoulder?

Always hang around with all these people that are older

Mind your own business, that's what I told her

And simple as that, she's takin orders like a soldier



[Chorus 1]

[Chorus 2]



"Just remember my rhyme, just remember my rhyme!" [x3]

[Will Smith] "Take heed to my rhyme and get the hell away!"



[same samples ad libbed to fade]