Where's the Devil?
Where's the Devil when you need him?
I'm on the level
Let me know if you happen across the mighty Beast of Eden.
Where's the Devil?
Where the Devil is the Devil?
Have you seen him?
The Warlord of all Bloodshed
Is under the floorboard of the woodshed
I ain't dreamin'
Have you seen him?
Yeah, where's the Devil?
Is the jumpin' Devil at the junction?
Well my baby's getting' married
While I lay dead and buried. 
Deep beneath the binds of Extreme Unction.

[Chorus:]
In the tiny little town of Nihilo,
In a boneyard 
Moaning slow and low.
I'm spinnin' in my grave
Chapel bells toll away
Where's the Devil when you need him right away?

You know it ain't proper
Prancing down the bridal path past your papa. 
Delilah and Bathsheba, 
Jezebel and even Eve had more to offer,
You double-crosser.
So let it happen
Let the punkin roots sing praises in Pig Latin.
With the Pidgin English spoken
The Wormwood will be broken
And the Devil will come and crack me out of my casket.

[Chorus 2x]

But I gotta be careful...
Careful of the Devil and be prayerful.
The phalanges of St. Vitus
Were stricken with arthritis
So he lobbed them off and left them on the table.