Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell, but I've been seen with Farrah
I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine
I've been on fire with Sally Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo
But somehow they just don't end up as mine

It's a death-defying life I lead, I'll take my chances
I've died for a living in the movies and TV
But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies
Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee

I might fall from a tall building, I might roll a brand-new car
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star

I've never spent much time in school, but I taught ladies plenty
It's true, I hire my body out for pay - hey hey!
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up over Rachel Welch
But when I wind up in the hay, it's only hay - hey hey!

I might jump an open drawbridge or Tarzan from a vine
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman, that makes Eastwood look so fine

They'll never make me president, but I got the best first ladies
Someday's I got 'em as far as the eye can see - ouee
A morning dove with Jacky Smith, a crash in the night with Cheryl
But in the end they never stay with me

On my fall from the Tower Building, so Burt Reynolds don't get hurt
I might leap the mighty Canyon, so he can kiss and flirt
Well, that smooth talker's kissing my girl, I'm just kissing dirt
Yes, I'm the lonely stuntman, that made a lover out of Burt