i'm sitting here

alone

i'm pitching a tent like a camper's home

all i've got tonight, are dirty feet and giggles

and Rover, and this jar of Jif

and i grab a butter knife

to end my virginal strife

i've tried hard hard HARD

to get between you and him

but in the end of you, i begin

i take a deep breath that is dreamy

and smear on some extra creamy

and i call the canine over

to try out my new lollipop boner

when senor skippy is in town

all i think about

is my dog going down

and this is why i used vaginal cream

that time when i tried out for swim team

i had to shave my legs and my balls

but no knowledge of the bathroom, i did it in the hall

i shit myself at the family reunion

and that time i first received my holy communion

the moon is rising

and these extra two inches tonight are surprising

and i 

and you

and ro-o-over too

can't believe

what your new crush just did to my shoe

there is feces all inside

and it's covering the fresh leather hide

do you remember what tonight is

the night Elvis dies while taking a piss

and it was on the television

and my sperm is now spraying like nuclear fission

and now i need Kleenex Cottonelle

cuase this sticky feeling is comparable with hell

and i'm sick of low fat lays

and they more i hate it, the more my gizz sprays

and now windex is required

for now my ejaculate has retired

to window overlooking the tree house

and i must clean it up as quiet as a mouse

but alas i make an utterance

it is my mom, a goddamn stutterance

she has caught me, red handed

tissue on dick

with that creamy Jif 

all over my stick

and it's not even a maternal figure

it's you and you're dressed like a wigger

I hate fat Albert Jeans

can someone HOLLA for me if they know what  I mean

Alas, i recover my .38

it is the only way to go out after you masturbate.

BA BLAM