[One, two , three!]



The first night that I come home 

So drunk I could not see

Found a horse in my stable

Where my horse oughta be

Come here my little wifey 

Explain this thing to me

How come a horse in the stable

Where my horse oughta be?

You blind fool, you crazy fool

Can't you never see?

It's only a milkcow 

You're granny sent to me

I've traveled this world over

Ten thousand miles or more

But a saddle upon a milkcow's back

I never did see before



The second night that I come home

So drunk I could not see

Found a coat a-hanging on the rack

Where my coat oughta be

Come here my little wifey 

Explain this thing to me

How come a coat a hanging a hanging on the rack

Where my coat oughta be?

You blind fool, you crazy fool

Can't you never see?

It's only a bedquilt

You're granny sent to me

I've traveled this world over

Ten thousand miles or more

Pockets upon a bedquilt

I never did see before 



The third night that I come home

So drunk I could not see 

Found a head a-laying on the pillow

Where my head oughta be

Come here my little wifey 

Explain this thing to me

How come a head a-laying on the pillow

Where my head oughta be?

You blind fool, you crazy fool

Can't you never see?

It's only a cabbage head

You're granny sent to me

I've traveled this world over

Ten thousand miles or more

But a moustache on a cabbage head

I never did see before