My auntie's in the parlour sipping sherry from a paper cup

And father'd bite your head off, he's working up to nine o'clock

Sister's only sixteen and she thinks she's on the shelf

And mother says don't worry, you've always got your health

You've always got your health



Times ain't what they used to be, but then they never were

Looking forward to the good old days in my rocking chair

If I knew ten years ago the things that I know now

I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how

I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how



At three o'clock we'd hear the bell, it never rang before it's time

To the back seat of the bus, making faces at the cars behind

Join the conversation, but we never had the nerve

Children should be seen they said, and never should be heard

Should be seen and never heard



I fell in love at seventeen, both of us mature and wise

Couldn't put two words together, but I thought the sun shone from her eyes

Ended at the altar when I took the wedding vow

Went running to the mirror, saw the wrinkles on my brow

Saw the wrinkles on my brow



I gave up on religion for the better, maybe for the worse

Avoiding Father Murphy, his blessings always were a curse

Life was getting colder so I bought a winter coat

And jumped off the nearest bridge, what a time to learn to float

What a time to learn to float



There's a bad girl down the street and she is standing by the factory gate

She said she'd fall in love some day, but up til then she'd have to wait

Settle for a husband and a family saloon

And 2.7 children and collecting Mills & Boon

Collecting Mills & Boon