Gotta get ready in me brand new clobber that somebody sent for 
Christmas,
The kind they buy when they can't think'a nothin' and you're last on 
the Christmas gift list,
But they're all comin' over n Christmas day for another family party,
In-laws outlaws all this kids and cousins uncles aunties.

And a party ain't a party 'til the rellies have arrived and it ain't even 
Christmas,
'Til you kissed your nana on the gummy ol' mouth and you pulled 
your grandad's finger. (Ho ho ho ho ho ho)

Silly little hats and bon-bon crackers and boots stacked high on the 
table,
Blokes around the keg and the women in the kitchen us kids all goin' 
mental,
And nana and pop propped up on the corner half covered up with a 
blanket,
And us kids lined up for kiss from nana and to pull your grandad's 
finger.

And a party ain't a party 'til the rellies have arrived and it ain't even 
Christmas,
'Til you kissed your nana on the gummy ol' mouth and you pulled 
your grandad's finger.
(Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, ho ho ho ho)

Pull pop's finger pops one off, and hear him ho ho ho,
Then run back round get back on the line and have another go,
Cop another kiss and more slobber from nana just to see who'll be 
the winner,
And who's tuggin' on his finger when he shits himself and you pulled 
your grandad's finger.

And a party ain't a party 'til the rellies have arrived and it ain't even 
Christmas,
'Til you kissed your nana on the gummy ol' mouth and you pulled 
your grandad's finger.

A party ain't a party till the rellies have arrived and it ain't even 
Christmas,
'Til you kissed your nana on the gummy ol' mouth and you pulled 
your grandad's finger.
(Ho ho ho ho ho, ho ho ho.... Uh oh)