HELLO OPERATOR. I'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL

CAN I HAVE 477 3104?

I'M SORRY SIR, COULD YOU REPEAT THAT NUMBER ONCE AGAIN?

477 3104, DID YA GET IT THEN? 



COULD YOU SPEAK A LITTLE SLOWER? 477'S ALL I GOT

3104, ARE YOU BLOODY DEAF OR WHAT?

LOOK, I GOT THE FIRST BIT, BUT I JUST CAN'T GET THE LAST

WELL STICK THAT FUCKIN' PHONE UP YOUR FUCKIN' ARSE 



CHORUS

STICK THAT FUCKIN' PHONE, UP YOUR FUCKIN' ARSE

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FUCKIN' HELP, NOT MAKE IT FUCKIN' HARD

I'M JUST TRYIN' TO MAKE A CALL, BUT YOU'RE JUST BEING SMART

SO YOU CAN STICK THAT FUCKIN' PHONE, UP YOUR FUCKIN' ARSE 



GOOD MORNING I'M FROM TELECOM, COME TO DISCONNECT YOUR PHONE

FOR A BREACH OF REGULATIONS JUST A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO

YOU UPSET OUR OPERATOR WITH A PRETTY NASTY CALL

WHAT ARE YOU FUCKIN' ON ABOUT? IT WAS ALL HER FUCKIN' FAULT! 



WELL SHE CLAIMS THAT IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT, SHE REALLY WAS DISTRESSED

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS, SHE UPSET ME FIRST!

WE'VE GOT HER WRITTEN STATEMENT, WHICH SHORTLY WILL BE READ

BUT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU'D RECALL EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID 



I SAID 



CHORUS 



WELL THAT'S NOT EXACTLY ON SIR, IT'S JUST NOT ON AT ALL

YOU MUST USE COMMON ETIQUETTE IF YOU WISH TO MAKE A CALL

AND 'PLEASE' AND 'THANK YOU' ALSO HELP, YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER LIKE THAT

'PLEASE' AND FUCKIN' 'THANK YOU' WELL YOU FUCKIN' TELL HER THAT! 



AND SHE KNOWS WITHOUT A TELEPHONE I'M REALLY IN THE SHIT

WELL PERHAPS IF YOU'D APOLOGISE THAT JUST MIGHT HELP A BIT

APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE? APOLOGISE TO WHO?

JUST GO IN AND ASK FOR OPERATOR 42 



GOOD MORNING, ARE YOU WAITING? IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO?

YES, I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO OPERATOR 42

I'M SORRY SIR, I MISSED THAT, COULD YOU REPEAT WHAT YOU JUST SAID?

AH SHIT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HERE WE FUCKIN' GO AGAIN! 



OPERATOR 42, LOOK I'LL JUST WRITE IT DOWN

OH OPERATOR 42, I'LL SEE IF SHE'S AROUND

JEEZ, THEY'RE BLOODY USELESS, I'M SURE THAT THEY'RE ALL DEAF

NO WONDER THAT I DID ME QUINCE, NO WONDER THAT I SAID 



CHORUS 



NOW THEY'LL MAKE ME SIT AROUND AND WAIT ALL BLOODY DAY

JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE ME SWEAT AND HAVE THE FINAL SAY

THAT'S LIKE THE PUBLIC SERVICEM THEY MAKE YOU SCRAPE AND BBOW

ARRGGHH SHIT! SHE'S FUCKIN' UGLY, IF THAT'S HER COMING NOW! 



I'M OPERATOR 42, I'M BUSY, MAKE IT FAST

DID A BLOKE TELL YOU TO STICKTHAT FUCKIN' PHONE RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE?

YES HE DID, THE FILTHY ANIMAL, I REMEMBER NOW

WELL YOU'D BETTER FUCKIN' BRACE YOURSELF 'CAUSE THEY'RE BRINGING IT AROUND!! 



CHORUS X 2