(The price is wrong, bitch)
Twelve o'clock check out we've got an entire hour
Where is the remote, no time for the manual power
I put that name tag over the heart
On the shirt, that says 'Bob Rules'
I stood in line for days
With all the other fools
And then the voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy
Called my name and said 'Come on down, you're the next contestant'
Oh my God I was hyperventilating
I hope I do not wake up from this dream;
Which is what it was
Janice she slinked on wearing a diamond dog collar
Still in complete shock I muttered the words 'One Dollar'
But, everyone else overbid,
And their eyes turned to me with the rage
For my dogs will be draped in diamonds
And I get to go onstage
I picked up old Bob and I hugged him just, like a bear
He said 'Put me down son and feast your eyes over there'
The sliding doors were ajar,
I was a happy as I could get
For it was a brand new car--
A Chevrolet Chevette
All because the voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy
Called my name and said "Come on down you're the next contestant"
Oh my God I was hyperventilating
I hope I do not wake up from this dream
Which is what it was
The showcase showdown was set for a quarter to noon
My spin did not make it all the away around, I got booed
So I pulled down as hard as I could
Just like they all knew that I would
I was happy to be alive
When it landed on $0.95
Next thing I knew I was standing next to a Marine
Who did not like his showcase and passed it on over to me
Crunching the numbers I tried to remain calm
How much is an all expenses paid trip to Guam?
Before I could answer a banging came to my door
The housekeeper said 'You must leave now or pay more -- you have dog'
I guess I fell back asleep
And slept right through that show
But the next time I'm in L.A.
You know where I'm gonna go
And hope that a voice of an angel that belongs to Rod Roddy
Call my name and says "Come on down, you're the next contestant"
Oh my God I hope I don't hyperventilate
I hope I do not wake up from this dream
Which is what it will be