John C Clark is a really nice man

He works in gas installation

And he drives a gas installation van

Fill it up at the local gas station

And you know I never saw him with a woman before

The women round here think they're worth a lot more

He's the kind of man your mother would adore

And that's no recommendation


Well John C Clark ain't too good looking

I guess he looks like a gas installer

And for all that gas he still ain't cooking

Yeah he could do with being six inches taller

But then I ain't no pretty picture myself

I've been sitting round here too long on the shelf

And I could dream about being with somebody else

But he could be a whole lot smaller


John C Clark has a crush on me

I know he told me so one Sunday

And at the time since I didn't have any other offers

I agreed to meet him on the Monday

And the big surprise is that we really got on

We talked about all kinds of wierd things til dawn

I plucked up the courage and said “Hey John,

Would you meet me again on Friday?” 


And so we met at the pizza parlour in town

By then my belly was warming

And while we were waiting on the tiramisu

I kissed him without warning

I said “I'm not getting any younger you know

And would you like to give it a go”

He replied, “I guess so”

And I packed my things in the morning” 


Now me and John we live together

We have a house that's full of laughter

We've got gas central heating, our bellies are always warm

And besides John has insulated the rafters

And you know we really like each other a lot

And for all the gas we will never be hot

But we're making the best of what we've got

We're living happily ever after