There's entertainment news on the hotel tv

They run it for 24 hours

Where stars discuss celebrity

And celebrities talk about stars

And who's having who on so and so's set

The lifestyles of the rich and useless

From Queen Julia down to King Kong

They got everybody singing that song

But everybody's got it wrong



   It makes me stutter, makes me stammer

   So let's fly it high

   The Star-Struck Banner

   Here's how it works and here's a spanner

   Stick It In!



I know that woman and she can't act

And I know who bought her breasts

Once she wanted to get to grips with me

Now she can't get me off her chest

I saw the photos of their wedding day

Now she's another gay divorcee

Well, they can blame it on the media but I'm not buying

All their crocodile tears or their wolf crying

If you get it and you don't want it

Then you're not trying



   It makes me stutter, makes me stammer

   So let's fly it high

   The Star-Struck Banner

   Here's how it works and here's a spanner

   Stick It In!



I read the papers, looking for the news

All I see is excuses for irrelevance

If you thought no-one was dying then you'd be excused

It's an insult to the unintelligent

   (I burned bright for ten minutes one night

    With a girl who had a bit part in ... who cares?

    But my hard work failed when she checked my sales

    And threw me down the stairs)



Me, I'm just an armchair outlaw

Trying to make ends meet

But when I try a little psycho maths

Well it knocks me off my feet

I've heard there's no Gods left anymore

So what do we wanna make these new ones for?

We'll just say our prayers like we know we should

Get on our knees and pray to Holywood

But it ain't gonna do us no good



   It makes me stutter, makes me stammer

   So let's fly it high

   The Star-Struck Banner

   Here's how it works and here's a spanner

   Stick It In!