He's done it all a million times

The gags, the repartee, the little crimes

Every audience is special and that goes for you

He looks into your eyes again

He never does it but he tries again

That old boy lost look could bruise you black and blue

Everybody's looking for a single row so they can be alone

Cos every time the lights go up, they'd rather be at home

I looked through all the wanted ads with a fine toothed comb

And all I came up with was another evening

Doing the same thing twice

That's what I was doing



All the drinks that he's been sinking

Never ask him what he's thinking

Every audience is unique and that goes for you

Dead or alive you're coming with me

Because everything's my cup of tea

That's why I've got a gold suit and some green italian shoes

Everybody says they had, but we all know they didn't

It's impossible to be a little bit pregnant

Give me the whole fruit cos I'm getting just a segment

And all I end up with is another evening

Doing the same thing twice



Well it hurts so bad to get this stoned

By ugly looking bureaucrats with ears like headphones

Reading The Sun, Sunday Sport, S.Ideal Home, Woman's Own

Looks like you're on your own



Bring me on the magic sponge

My dying gasp, my final lunge

It's all over now bar the dance

Do it now but don't get caught

I've been having third thoughts

They can be so clever, only when the script demands

You cluttered up the sky now so you can't follow any star

Someone's sitting next to you in an empty cinema

No-one wants to end up face down in a reservoir

And I don't wanna end up with another evening

Saying the same thing twice