I wasn’t sure yeah I was unstable,
Placed my bet on both Shirley and Mabel.
There were days when I had to wait
And days when I was late.

She made a pass I was sold when she tried
‘cause she pitched about forty miles wide.
I couldn’t get her out of my mind
She had the touch of formaldehyde.

Take the trash out;
Crank the heat up;
Get the car washed;
Take your feet off;
Don’t you get loud;
Speak your mind out;
Get me a Cream & Strawberry Mound.

Top-straight, she cannot pretend,
Makes it clear so that I understand.
One thing a guy wouldn’t want
Is to mess with Commander Blonde.

I was shy a motherless child,
Now all my inhibitions run wild.
She calls out and I run to respond:
You don’t mess with Commander Blonde.

Take the trash out;
Crank the heat up;
Get the car washed;
Take your feet off;
Don’t you get loud;
Speak your mind out;
Get me a Cream & Strawberry Mound.

She’s so keen, we’re happy as can be,
My little old formaldehyde and me.
No one gets the ball when she’s on:
You don’t mess with Commander Blonde.