(chorus):
If you're satisfied with your message, press one
To listen to your message, press two
To re-record, press three

Hey folks, what's going on? It's John
I just got off of ___________.com
Of course you know me I don't respond
I just like to observe how these nerds critique songs
Funny as heck it's the same old text
Someone's upset, someone didn't come correct
I know it's stupid, it's just the internet
But that in itself is one of many aspects
You got the cat that hits up the newstand
To receive instructions from media man
Life full of anxiety trying to keep up
Just when he's on top another trend creeps up, Oh!
Dear Jesus, help us, people follow blindly
Have you been given the okay to like me?
Or do I need to ask the media for your permission
Are they the ones making all of your decisions?

(chorus 2x)

I knew this indie kid, this anti-trendy kid
He hated Starbucks, WalMart and the recording biz
This indie kid, this anti-trendy kid
Liked to tell me what it wasn't and school me on what it is
Two years previous he was skankin' in the pits
Oh how quickly his identity switched
Let's get hip to the future and skip the nonsense
I'm so ahead of myself I'm in retirement

Well me and my friends we're chillin' hardcore
Sipping decaf coffee and playing shuffleboard
Nothing to prove, nothing to lose, wanna hang with me?
Don't care what I wear and I stare aimlessly
For hours upon hours upon end
Come back to and then I'll do it again, oh
Catch me up to speed, what's the hottest trend?
It's been twenty years no wonder the 80's are in
So throw your trucker hats in the air
And wave your thrift store shirts like you just don't care
Rappers when you're rhyming, singers when you're whining
Try not to look like you're trying

(chorus)

What's it take to make a hit, huh?
Sorta like a love/hate relationship
First you make it, you love it, then it annoys you
Travel the world and your song employs you
Well hey, I'm not even sure if I got what it takes
I'm just trying to do my part and speak from the heart
Spark some insight, yo, forget being fake
Write with honesty, don't wanna hide my faith
I also don't want to use my faith as a gimmick
To tickle your emotions and make you feel terrific
I promised God to always be authentic
Past this moment it's a daily commitment
That my friends concludes the broadcast
Be careful what you commit to, things don't last
Hold on tight to what really counts
Enjoy this life before you're out