(spoken)

Jesus.... the missing years



It was raining. It was cold

West Bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old

So he packed his bags and he headed out

To find out what the world's about

He went to France. He went to Spain

He found love. He found pain.

He found stores so he started to shop

But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop

Kids in trouble with the cops

From Israel didn't have no home

So he cut his hair and moved to Rome

It was there he met his Irish bride

And they rented a flat on the lower east side of Rome...

Italy that is

Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, Money Changers,

Spoon Benders and lots of pretty Italian chicks.



Chorus:

Charley bought some popcorn

Billy bought a car

Someone almost bought the farm

But they didn't go that far

Things shut down at midnight

At least around here they do

Cause we all reside down the block

Inside at ....23 Skidoo.



Wine was flowing so were beers

So Jesus found his missing years

So He went to a dance and said "This don't move me"

He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie

On his thirteenth birthday he saw "Rebel without a Cause"

He went straight on home and invented Santa Claus

Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind

He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind

You see him and the wife wasn't getting along

So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song

Called "The Dove of Love Fell Off the Perch"

But he couldn't get divorced in the Catholic Church

At least not back then anyhow

Jesus was a good guy he didn't need this shit

So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and

A Coca-Cola and he swallowed it.

He discovered the Beatles

And he recorded with the Stones

Once He even opened up a three-way package

In Southern California for old George Jones



Repeat Chorus:



The years went by like sweet little days

With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais

When he woke up he was seventeen

The world was angry. The world was mean.

Why the man down the street and the kid on the stoop

All agreed that life stank. All the world smelled like poop

Baby poop that is ..the worst kind

So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb

And headed back to Jerusalem to find Mom, Dad and home

But when he got there the cupboard was bare

Except for an old black man with a fishing rod

He said "Whatcha gonna be when you grow up?"

Jesus said "God"

Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?

I'm a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood

They're gonna kill me Mama. They don't like me Bud.

So Jesus went to Heaven and he went there awful quick

All them people killed him and he wasn't even sick

So come and gather around me my contemporary peers

And I'll tell you all the story of

Jesus...The Missing Years



Repeat Chorus:



We all reside down the block

Inside at ....23 Skidoo.