Back before I was a movie star

Straight off of the farm

I had a picture of another man's wife

Tattooed on my arm

With a pack of Camel cigarettes

In the sleeve of my tee shirt

I'm headin' out to Hollywood

Just to have my feelings hurt



That town will make you crazy

Just give it a little time

You'll be walking 'round in circles

Down at Hollywood and Vine

You'll be waitin' on a phone call

At the wrong end of a broom

Yes, that town'll make you crazy

Crazy as a loon



So, I headed down to Nashville

To become a country star

Every night you'd find me hangin'

At every honky-tonk and bar

Pretty soon I met a woman

Pretty soon she done me wrong

Pretty soon my life got sadder

Than any country song



That town will make you crazy

Just give it a little time

You'll be walking 'round in circles

Lookin' for that country rhyme

You'll be waitin' on a phone call

At the wrong end of a broom

Yea, that town'll make you crazy

Crazy as a loon



So, I gathered up my savvy

Bought myself a business suit

I headed up to New York City

Where a man can make some loot

I got hired Monday morning

Downsized that afternoon

Overcome with grief that evening

Now I'm crazy as a loon



So I'm up here in the north woods

Just staring at a lake

Wondering just exactly how much

They think a man can take

I eat fish to pass the time away

'Neath this blue Canadian moon

This old world has made me crazy

Crazy as a loon

Lord, this world will make you crazy

Crazy as a loon