I'm no Russian

Not even Prussian

Doorman at the yacht club

Was my one claim to fame



Some say I'm nervy

Hell, I'm from Jersey

This chasin' money

Can do things to your brain



How does a shore boy like me

Wind up out on the Black Sea



Dropped out of Harvard

Then joined the Coast Guard

Manned a faithful 50

On a boat in Gitmo



Did my duty

But missed the booty

I heard that St. Barth

Was the place I should go



How could a coastie like me

Sail off into infamy



I couldn't surf or sing or play the guitar

All I ever did was steal an oligarch's car

My million dollar joy ride was not the perfect crime

And those bad boys from Little Odessa

Don't believe in wasting time



A Lamborghini Elemento

Ain't your average island car

"Park it close" the driver told me

Sounding like some kind of czar

With a bucket of Cristal

And devil weed inside

I thought it would be crazy

Not to take a ride



Flying through Gustavia

Passing Mini Mokes

Gendarmes at the roundabout

Didn't get the joke

Speeding down the hill

Like a Dassault Mirage

Parked it on the runway

And headed for la plage



Bar on fire

Din of desire

Dancing on a table

She was waving me in



Her name was Kira

She knew no fear-a

Then introduced me to her vampirish friends



I'd never seen such a girl