By: Matt Betton 

1986 

I never wanted to be 

A man of mystery 

My life's an open book 

By James Joyce and Agatha Christie 



Sometimes I get confused 

Somewhere around page two 

I live the perfect crime 

And crime pays more than it used to 



They're checkin' the evidence 

May be some charges pressed 

The only one they got me on 

Is some misdemeanor craziness 



Chorus: 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 

If they solve my life they find me out 

Never thought to keep all I have found 

I have had my fun if it all falls down 



If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I have had my fun I have bought a few rounds 

And been out on the town way out on the town 

Way way way out if it all falls down 



Never wanted to be 

A part of history 

I have my days in the sun 

A beach bum a man for all seasides 



Guidance counselor said 

Your scores are anti-heroic 

Computer recommends 

Hard-drinking calypso poet 



Studied life at sea 

Studied life in bars 

Never passed my S.A.T.'s 

So I thought I'd study extra hard 



Chorus: 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I have learned my trade from the inside out 

I can strum real hard I can play real loud 

I can charm a crowd if it all falls down 



If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I can warm a crowd I can make them shout 

I can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns 

I can make them dance 'til they all fall down 



We had plenty of doctors 

We had plenty of lawyers 

We had people to make us things 

We had people to sell us those things 

Didn't have enough room for those things 

We build lots of self storage 

Calypso poet shortage 

Calypso poet shortage 



Chorus: 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I'll have filled that void from city to town 

I'll have spent my money and taken my bows 

I'll have had my fun if it all falls down 



If it all falls down falls down falls down 

If they solve my life if they find me out 

Never thought to keep all I have found 

I have had my fun if it all falls down 



If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I can charm a crowd 'til they snake dance 'round 

With calypso beat down island sound 

I can make them dance 'til they all fall down 



Chorus: 

If it all falls down falls down falls down 

I can warm a crowd I can make them shout 

I can juggle verbs adverbs and nouns 

I can make them dance 'til they all fall down