In the room across the way
 From the hotel I was staying in
 While on my holiday
 I couldn't help but see everything
 'Cause I was peeping I confess
 Still after dinner every night
 She had the strangest guest

 She'd retire to her favorite chair
 And sit there with a dog
 Fill the crystal glasses
 While the fire danced on the log
 I watched them drink their bubbly brew
 Until the fire grew dim
 Then I stuck my head out the window
 And said why not me instead of him

 Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
 And I ain't one to complain
 What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
 So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over
 'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk
 Would have to be good to me

 Fourteen days and fourteen nights
 Not one word did I hear
 Her with her silk and champagne
 Over to me in my shorts with a beer
 She just left the curtains wide
 And I knew she knew I could see
 Her and the pug-nosed mutt
 Guzzling wine and teasing me

 Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
 And I ain't one to complain
 What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
 So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over
 'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk
 Would have to be good to me

 So I made a bolder move
 I went over and rang her bell
 I heard growling from inside
 And I got scared as hell
 Then the bulldog staggered out the door
 And he said, how do yo do
 But the lady bit me on the leg
 And I said r-rouf, I love you too

 Oh your bulldog drinks champagne
 And I ain't one to complain
 What a perfect waste of wine it seems to be
 So honey, tell ol' rover that the big dog's coming over
 'Cause any woman that would get a bulldog drunk
 Would have to be good to me