I'm gonna take my best friends Sam and Jen and were gonna go to a bar
Were gonna watch the men run around in circles and see how silly they are
(I don't mean all men; I just mean some men…don't take offense)

Here comes Jerry, Bachelor number one
Works for the police and carries a gun
But I'm not impressed
I'm amused at best with this sloppy slurring drunkard and his bullet proof vest

I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass
I don't take kindly to being harassed
Hey that rhymes
Have another drink and get high
Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here
I'll never find what I'm looking for in here

Hey there little boy
You look like slim shady and I'm thinking maybe you'll buy me a drink
But what I didn't know was you wanted a blow job in the boy's bathroom and I said,
"FUCK YOU!" I think

I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass
I don't take kindly to being harassed
Hey that rhymes
Have another drink and get high
Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here
I'll never find what I'm looking for in here

It's just a game we play anyway
I've got guy friends I know who do It every day
They go to the club just lookin to score
With some sweet young thing getting Jiggy on the dance floor
And they fork over 5's and 10's for mixed drinks and beers
And when their broke in the end
They go home with their friends
And he goes home alone
Until he plays again

This place is crawling with all kinds of bugs
Just looking for some action and an icy cold bud
A little word to the wise boys
Don't go buying me drinks because I've never been that easy and cheap

I'll beat you up if you try to touch my ass
I don't take kindly to being harassed
Hey that rhymes
Have another drink and get high
Cause I'll never find what I'm looking for in here
I'll never find what I'm looking for in here