Johnny's mom was worried

She caught him in the bathroom

With a copy of GQ

The men's fall fashion issue

So she called her pastor

The respected Reverend Bean

Who after a minute of silence

Said, "I'll pray for thee"

Johnny's dad was absent

At another men's convention

For Christian men who need to learn

To be better dads

Johnny's mom kept quiet

About her son's sin

Afraid that Dad would beat

The holy shit out of him



Under the disco ball

Another child will fall

Under the spell of leather

And the big kick drum



They have a scheme

They have a plan

To take the children of our land

Turn them into stylists

And women who play golf