When everyone wore loafers

I needed more support

I'd always hide when we take a drive

To that awful store

I had a choice of black or blue

The biggest ugliest ass shoes

But what could I do

My feet they came out funny



Mary McKay she had Mary Janes

With that patent leather shine

She was known as Tinker Bell

And I was Frankenstein



Big shoes before they were big

Big shoes I'll never forgive

My mother made me wear big shoes



In my school when Spring came

Sandals they were all the rage

With plastic beads on straps to match

Their painted nails

Heavy-footed in the hall

What I wanted most of all

Was red ball jets

So I could get over the schoolyard fence



Kip O'Neil she had high heels

She went all the way

By the time I got up to bat

They called off the game



Big shoes everyday

You can hear them coming a mile away

Outside you hear them say

Here comes Big Shoes



And when I could go to the real shoe store

On the shelves I looked in horror

On display were combat boots and platforms

Here comes Big Shoes



Big shoes before they were cool

Wanted feet so minuscule

I even wore them at the swimming pool

Here comes Big Shoes



Big shoes everyday

You can hear them coming a mile away

Outside you can hear them say

Here comes Big Shoes