Young Gladys was a silky maiden 

At thirteen, she was going strong, yeah. 

Oh, Gladys. 



Nicely filled out, fully laden, 

But down below there was something wrong, yeah. 

Oh, Gladys. 



Nobody told her about the secrets 

That ladies have to hide 

Mom had no words to describe the things 

That happened inside. 

Need someone to help me, 

I feel that there's a curse on me, oh. 



Went down into the local disco, 

For what used to be the one night, yeah, 

Oh Gladys. 



Felt a searching hand to frisk her, 

Along the legs of the water line, yeah, 

Oh Gladys. 



Now Gladys knew she was in no condition 

In no mood to play 



I cracked a knee in her soft spot, nothing 

Had got in her way. 



I want no one to touch me, 

I feel there's a curse on me, oh. 



Directed down to the local drugstore 

Got fixed up, now she's doing fine, yeah 

Oh Gladys 



Equipped with various kinds of apparatus 

You know the feminine hygiene kind, yeah 

Oh Gladys 



Must have been a man to do these things 

Who won her fall from grace 

That day he programmed Eve



You should have seen the smile on his face 

He said ``You'll need someone to help you 

When you feel like cursing me'', oh.