I am your neighbor. I seem most respectable, 

But underneath I'm an iniquitous toad. 

So many dreadful mishaps have befallen you --- 

down at the end of your road. 

And I live down the end of your road. 



I'm working on ways to remove you from paradise --- 

from your striped lawn and your new swimming pool. 

I place broken bottles in your geraniums --- 

sabotage your gardening tools. 

And I live down the end of your road. 



By day I am a real estate gentleman. 

I deal in fine properties --- cheap at the price. 

After dark, I plan my most devious practices 

which you might think are not very nice. 



Designing a system to reverse your plumbing --- 

welling up, as you sit on your private throne. 

will come up all kinds of vile and despicable nasties 

you would rather not have in your home. 

And I live down the end of your road. 



Dispensed loathsome creatures in your drawing room, 

Sent doggy poo-poos in your morning mail. 

Rat's heads and lark's wings should set your tums turning 

and your houses will soon be for sale. 

And I live down the end of your road. 



I live down the end of your road.