You asked me to jump the 45 measured feet 
into the water, 
but I am no folly built for your lazy pleasure, 
if only it were so. 
Your hands were fairly stone cold as you placed them on 
my neck, 
we climbed off the train at Birnam 
we anchored out city living to our rural past. 
High above the fields of Killiecrankie 
we made up rhymes and names for passing polite 
strangers, 
you dared me out of earshot, faces beamed behind backs.
Macgregor pulling on his lead to climb more snowed up 
steps, 
my winter jacket cast me out as a well dressed loon, 
existing on the margins, 
exciting to be sharing Christmas with you all

I thought I'd see you up the Birks O'Aberfeldy, 
as if some common thoughts would bring us together 10 
years later 
for nothing really 
just a look just to drink you in. 
I carry your memory like a big bag full of feathers 
once stuck in the back of my throat but now a warming 
dream 
finally. 
And now I'm more concerned about keeping the neighbours 
cat out of my garden 
than who you may or may not be fucking 
and who may be dancing a jig in the middle. 
How stupid I was believing in fate and fairness 
and all the big questions that I could not answer 
so I busied myself with the flippancy of art

The genius is the subtlety of the waves 
lapping on the shore 
slowly taking over the dry shale with it's salty tongue 
like a lounge singer. 
And uppity nonchalance uncaring for the land 
it's reclaiming uncaring for the crowds it's drawing
the next day I shall walk in it's wake. 
Discovering the bones and the pottery once a native of 
this shoreline 
paying a visit to the coast hoping to be recognised by 
descendants of descendants and taken in and loved.
Discovering the bones and the pottery once a native of 
this shoreline 
paying a visit to the coast hoping to be recognised by
descendants of descendants and taken in and loved.

From Baltimore we sailed hoping to escape my temper 
I put you in a song wrapped you up with cotton wool 
I cast you as an angel battling my demons. 
Cold bloodedly you took your opportunity 
a North London Hogmanay the year my faith was shattered 
a sunken city came alive with fireworks. 
Eager to please I sang like a stranger 
and me and my Taig friends we drank you under the table 
and the music you swore by it was nothing it was 
terrible. 
Scared by the noise of your shrieking 
the dog chased ghosts in the kitchen 
he tore up newspapers and ate all the jam 
and the glassware you collected was smashed and lilting 
on the floor.

When the saddening sweeps through me like a stubborn 
sea wind 
when I'm feeling my worst and the best news in world 
fails to move me 
and I cannot bare your touch or to share a word 
or gossip or humour well that's when I need you most 
just to be here to be quiet and warm and free with the 
drink 
until I forget such moments exist. 
When the haar rolls in it's just a question of waiting 
it out 
and that's when the music I swear gets me through 
I close my eyes and everything is OK. 
When the haar rolls in it's just a question of waiting 
thing out 
and that's when the music I swear gets me through 
I close my eyes and everything's OK

From Baltimore we sailed hoping to escape my temper 
I put you in a song wrapped you up with cotton wool 
I cast you as an angel battling my demons. 
A North London Hogmanay the year my faith was shattered