I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
Each night it seems like I'm getting worse

And I'd wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night she works

They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work

They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time someone's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
Here comes the next contestant

I even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work

Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
Here comes the next contestant

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait till they get what they deserve
This time someone's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant

Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
Here comes the next contestant

I wish you'd do it again
Each night seems like it's getting worse
I wish you'd do it again
This time somebody's getting hurt
There goes the next contestant