I learnt to let go when I was younger
Scared of growing old
I would swim far into the ocean
And try to stay afloat
Until my lungs would cough up water
And sand would coat my bones, and I hope..

That someday I'll open up the floodgates
And let the lyrics flow
Someday I'll understand the dry taste
When the words are trapped below
Some days I wonder if my airway
Is clogged with all the quotes, that I wrote
 
I feel worthless
Maybe I should open the drawer
Burn the pages
Write poems with the ash on the floor
Pour the ink into the sink
And watch it drain from the shore
 
I don't want love no more
Though it's the one thing I've been searching for
Though it's the one thing that I miss the most
Now I'm afraid to be alone

When I was really young,
I'd close my eyes and wake up on a beach,
With a pen in my hand and thoughts within my reach,
Waves of words rushing to greet my feet,
Beseeching, being spilled from the quill in my heart,
Oceans dripping onto pages,
Painting pictures of pain at last.

When I was really young,
I would write to not forget things and memories,
So when I tell you lately,
I seem to be writing only about love,
What does that tell you about me?
Love, felt like a sweet dream in the deep dream of deep sleep but
Somewhere in the night you crawled out of bed,
Disappeared, but like a photograph stuck still in my head
Leaving white sheets blank like pages to fill with stories to tell but
No matter how many characters I stain the sheets with,
None of them seem to fit my life as well as you did,
I wake now, in the wake of your mistakes asking myself how,
You could leave a living room looking so dreadfully dead.
 
I learnt to grow old when I was younger
Scared of staying young
Afraid of the thoughts that I had conjured
That sat atop my tongue
Knowing I'd change the worlds opinion
If they would just, listen up
But they won’t, now

I feel worthless
Maybe I should open the drawer
Burn the pages
Write poems with the ash on the floor
Pour the ink into the sink
And watch it drain from the shore
 
I don't want love no more
Though it's the one thing I've been searching for
Though it's the one thing that I miss the most
Oh, I'm afraid to be alone

And lately I have been,
Mistaking body silhouettes for your shadow,
To go skinny dipping in the shallow,
Bearing my flesh, sweat and skin but never my warmth
I have been a beacon of smoke,
With no hope of starting the fire I well remember,
My heart, once a smouldering coal, is now just a grey area,
I have no metaphors for this metamorphosis of a man,
Reduced to a confused boy,
Am I really at fault for this
Chaos, this chaos of white bedsheets that look a lot like,
Abandoned drafts of our story,
I imagined it would be gory,
But it is a different kind of violence,
There is only silence,
There is only silence.
 
I feel worthless
Maybe I should open the drawer
Burn the pages
Write poems with the ash on the floor
Pour the ink into the sink
And watch it drain from the shore
 
I don't want love no more
Though it's the one thing I've been searching for
Though it's the one thing that I miss the most
But I deserve to be alone