Well you can't have a snog with a snowman
'Cos his heart is made of snow
And it's just snow joke
From a frozen bloke
And he'll say "no" to an Eskimo
If you go where the wild blizzards blow, man
Well he just won't want to play
For the simple reason
That if he stops freezin'
Then he just might melt away.
 
Well you can't have a snog with a snowman
It's a plain and simple rule
'Cos if you cuddle
He'll turn to a puddle
And so he just can't lose his cool
Oh he might be a sweet whisper low man.
At minus ten degrees
Though he might be willin'
He's much too chillin'
And you'll need some antifreeze.
 
No No No! If you sit on his knee, could be
You'll get him miffed.
Snow Snow Snow! You'll get your assets frozen,
Just supposin' you get my drift.
 
So the next time that you make a snowman
Make a nice snow-lady too
Uh Oh so nice
From snow and Ice
For the snowman to love true.
And Santa Claus the Ho Ho Ho man
Will take them on his sleigh
To hug and squeeze
Where the penguins freeze
At the North Pole far away
At the North Pole far away
"Written in the vane hope of airplay."
Written by Ivor Biggun
Copyright c 2005 Ivor Biggun 
Published by Stiff Weapon
Lyrics reprinted by permission of Stiff Weapon
It is illegal to reprint the lyrics without the 
permission of the publisher
Available on the CD album More Fruity Bits - The Rest 
Of Ivor Biggun