I have a dog his name is Rover
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog his name is Rover
Ee by gum!
I have a dog his name is Rover
When he sh*ts he sh*ts all over
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a dog his name is Fritz
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog his name is Fritz
Ee by gum!
I have a dog his name is Fritz
He sh*ts and sh*ts and sh*ts and sh*ts
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a dog he's as big as that
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog he's as big as that
Ee by gum!
I have a dog he's as big as that
He got diarrhoea and he buried the cat
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a dog with a triangular r*ctum
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog with a triangular r*ctum
Ee by gum!
I have a dog with a triangular r*ctum
Toblerone's shoot out when you least expect 'em
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a big, f*cking great big rottweiler his name is 
Jim
Oh my goodness!
I've got this f*cking great big enormous Cyril Smith 
rottweiler
he's got balls on him like 150 watt lightbulbs he goes 
'round sh*gging carthorses
His name is Jim
Ee by gum!
I've got this f*cking great big rottweiler his name is 
Jim
And where he sh*ts is entirely up to him
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a little chihuahua his name is Cliff
Oh my goodness!
I've got this teeny-weeny little chihuahua his name is 
Cliff
Ee by gum!
I've got this teeny-weeny little chihuahua his name is 
Cliff
His t*rds are small but they don't 'arf niff
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a dog his name is Solzhenitsyn
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog his name is Solzhenitsyn
Ee by gum!
I have a dog his name is Solzhenitsyn
And mine is the house Solzhenitsyn sh*ts in
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room
I have a dog he's a big Great Dane
Oh my goodness!
I have a dog he's a big Great Dane
Ee by gum!
I have a dog he's a big Great Dane
He wipes his a*se and he pulls the chain
Sh*t all 'round the room, me boys
Sh*t all 'round the room