[Introduced by female impersonator Julian Eltinge]

[1st verse:]
Mother often said to me, "Someday a beauty fair
You may, or may not grow to be, in any case beware
Beside a fellow's side, a gown your faults will always hide
But not beside a fellow's side, beside the ocean side
He's there when you go in without a doubt
He's liable to be gone when you come out

[chorus:]
Don't take your beau to the seashore
When bathing, don't take your beau to the shore
For bathing suits reveal what petticoats conceal
And if there's a slight defection
You will never stand inspection
When you go down to the seashore
Take my advice and you won't go wrong
Girls, when you go, if you've nothing to show
Don't take your beau along

[2nd verse:]
Mother knew a thing or two, she told me father dear
Had never seen her bathing, that's the reason I am here
An ankle should be covered good until the show'r of rice
And even then it's none too safe to show it more than twice
Although we know that love is blind, be wise!
A bathing suit may open up his eyes