Ev'ryone's hollering "Me oh my
We're in a terrible hole"
Ev'ryone's hollering "Tell us why
There is a shortage of coal"
I've got the whole thing figured out
Really it isn't so bad
I know the cause without a doubt
Why there's no coal to be had

[chorus:]
The devil has bought up all the coal
He's going to save it I swear
Until the Kaiser gets there
He needs to make it warm for Mister William
The devil has spent his little roll
For all the coal from ev'rywhere
He's piling it up by the ton
And, oh, what he'll do to that Hun
There'll be a hot time in Hades
When the Kaiser gets there

[2nd verse:]
Satan is freezing 'way down below
He feels a terrible chill
Still he won't use up his coal, oh no
Satan is waiting for Bill
If he can stand it then why can't we?
Tell all the grumblers to pause
Although we freeze, let's shout with glee
"It's for a wonderful cause"

[2nd chorus:]
The devil has bought up all the coal
He's going to save it I swear
Until the Kaiser gets there
He needs to make it warm for Mister William
I'd give Mister Rockefeller's roll
To see the Kaiser I declare
And whisper in his little ear
You don't know the half of it, dear
There'll be a hot time in Hades
When the Kaiser gets there