staring at the ceiling from that couch, he said
"you're gonna waste away
if you don't get your fill
won't mince my words
you need a change from beat-a-root
find a good woman, anything more substantial

you need to sink your teeth right in"

there she was, pretty as a pitcher
quench my thirst, I love this see food diet
almond eyes, love me tenderloin
and lips that barely have to move
to scream let's try it

she was my best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
she was my best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
till she said, turn on the hear until i simmer

when it was time to make my move
she sighed, "slow down boy, don't rush in
ease into my groove"
slid out of her clothes, smiled a bon appetit
right in the raw, good enough to eat

condensed chocolate cup creamed
as i reached above a spare rib
the cauldron boiled over
now my favourite part
marinated, unconsummated, i popped her in
slammed on the lid
tonight baby, its a-la-carte

she was my best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
she was my best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
till she said......

my very best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
oh my best friend
how could i've had her for dinner
till she said, "right upto boil until i simmer"