Heart of Illinois, Heart of Illinois,
Heart of Illinois, Don't it make ya sick?
Heart of Illinois, Heart of Illinois,
Heart of Illinois, Shut up ya fucking' dick!
Ten fucking years I've lived in this town
There's never nothing happening going on
Except fairs, and baseball, and sidewalk sales,
And old people fucking with their lawns!
Farm Futures!
Soybeans and corn!
Parks and recreation!
Collecting doorknobs?!?

Pride of the Prairie, Pride of the Prairie,
Pride of the Prairie... Don't it make ya retch?
Pride of the Prairie, Pride of the Prairie,
Pride of the Prairie, Shut up ya fuckin' wrench!
Twenty fucking years Ive lived in this town
Nothing's never going on around here
Except unemployment, and gangs, and skating bands,
And college students slamming fucking beers!!!