You turn me off, and then you leave me in here

And then I'm scratching at, your door, begging you for, some more

You make me hide, so your friends can come inside, and tell me to be quiet

I make some noise and I hear this haggled voice yelling "Hey what's the riot?"

And I hear you say...



It's only the dog 

Or maybe the cat 

Or maybe the bird 

Uh huh honey it's only me



He jumps off, his chair, said "I'm a gonna look in there"

My heart hits, the floor, as he came toward the door

He opened up to see, and fortunately for me, I resembled sherpa jacket

He closed the door, admitted he was wrong, about all the racket

Then I heard you say...



It's only the dog

Or maybe the cat

Or maybe it's that bird

Uh huh honey it's only me



Finally, your friends, say they're gonna be goin'

Couldn't wait to hear, "Hey, you come out now boy, it's all clear"

Gave me the sign, I was out in record time, but to my surprise

From under the bed came my friend Ed

From behind the drapes came 'cousin and along with the guys' 

Now what you gonna say?



It's only the dog

Or maybe the cat

Or maybe it's that bird

Uh huh honey it's only me