Had a crush on Santa

Since I was 9 years old

But oh santa, why do you go?

Once a year you come visit me

Eat my cookies, leave presents

the same old routine

But now Santa, i want something...more

No presents are what this girls asking for

Santa sleep with me tonight



I read these words in her diary

An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy

I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did

Wonder what does she see in him?

A big old tub of jelly with a double chin

He's older than my grandmother



Indeed this fetish is really bizarre

A sexual attraction for this holiday jar

I've got a plan that you wouldn't believe

But I've got to act fast



It's christmas eve (3x)

Santa's suit is what I will get

And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget

And neither will I

Went through my closet and found a red robe

Made a beard out of cotton and stuffed my shirt with pillows

And drove to my girl's house



I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay

Some Santa and my girl in red lingerie

And in between all the moans and groans

I heard her say:

Oh Santa

Oh Santa

She said Santa I missed you I love you 

I wish you would stay home forever with me

Santa I knew you were coming to town, 

But now you are coming with me



Santa! 

Get off of my girlfriend

Get off of my girlfriend