Alright*
I'm laying in bed
With a lit cigarette
Can't say if last night
Was a blonde or brunette
Megawatts is on the phone
Keeps blowing me up
And there's three shots of whiskey
In my coffee cup
I'm a bad mutha fucka, heeh
(Hehehehe)
I'm a bad mutha fucka
(I'M A BAD MUTHA FUCKA! Hehehe)
I can polish off a bottle
In the blink of an eye
I can drink all night
And not pay a dime
Just to soon kick your ass
As I take a piss
Fuck, even Chuck Norris
Don't want none of this
I'm a bad mutha fucka (Hehe)
I can pick up any chick
I meet at the bar
I can even take the one
Right off of your arm
I got a woman at home
Got a kid on the way
I got a girl in New York
And four more in L.A.
I'm a bad mutha fucka
(Mutha fucka, hehehe)
I'm a bad mutha fucka (Hehe)
(Hahaha)
I got hookers by the hand
Four-five at a time
But they're the ones paying me
By the end of the night
Pimps hunt me down
And try to get the cash
And then me and Samuel Jackson
Bust a cap in their ass
We're bad mutha fuckas (Hæh!)
Bad mutha fuckas, come on
(Hahaha)
Writing bad checks
To the I.R.S.
I'm a master at passing
Sobriety tests
(Hahaha!)
Selling dope to the Hot Topic
Kids at the mall
I'm like O.J. baby
I get away with it all
(Hahaha!)
It wasn't me
(Hahaha!)
I'm a bad mutha fucka (Hehehe)
And he's in jail mutha fucka, come on
I got a room in my house
For my ten foot bong
I'm pretty sure George Thorogood
Wrote me a song
I'm a bad, bad, bad
To the bone, mutha fucka
Bad to the bone
(Bad mutha fucka!)
There's only one motherfucker that may be badder than me
And that would be Rob Corddry
(Hahaha)
By the way
Before I sing this
You should know
I was raised Catholic
But
I'm a virgin alterboy
(hahaha)
I get stoned on sunday
Take my grandma to church
I pick up all the girls
In catholic skirts
Tell them that I got
A big van full of toys
Hell it looks better than the preacher
Jerking off little boys
He's WORSE than a bad mutha fucka
(Hahaha)
I'm a bad mutha fucka
He's a bad bad man
(HAHAHA!)
Just saying
Don't even know what to call that
Burning in hell?
My dad is so proud of me, hahaha
(Hahaha)