You were hot as hell on the first date
I was nervous because I don't like airports
Wrong way on the freeway
We ended up in downtown Chicago
I could never leave, I would rather be
Stuck inside a bus without a reason
You could rob me once, just like the black guy
With the bad heart that fucked me over
You had a hard fall on the driveway
We ended up right back in the snow bank
I guess I'm going to learn the hard way
How to fit in those pink pajamas
When I opened the door and farted, you just laughed and
Laughed
Don't ever leave me broken-hearted if you ever decide
To leave
When I burped in your mouth on the french kiss, you
Just laughed and laughed
Don't ever tell your dad that we practiced how to shake

His hand about a thousand times
I can't believe that I ever really found you
I don't know how I'll ever going to tell you
Every time that I try to write a love note
It always ends up sounding like a fart joke
I can't believe that I ever really found you
I don't know when or if I'll ever get to tell you
About the cake that you baked you thought looked crappy
Who needs a birthday when you're happy
I can't believe that I ever really found you
I can't say that I think that I deserve you
You give my heart a giant fucking boner
I want to share it with you when we're older
Kristine Marie, you're the best thing to happen to me