With her pretty face and her pretty name
Because the worst he could do
Would always be number two
To her ability to cause me pain
What on earth was I thinking
Is what I think when I look back
And it's been a while
So I can manage a smile
But I can't seem to change the fact
That I don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
I put her face on a wanted poster
So I'd have something to remember her by
But I know it's no use
She'll always be on the loose
Cause she knows all the best places to hide
She's got herself a brand new boyfriend
And he's a nice enough sort of guy
When they reach their end
Then he and I can be friends
This is of course if he survives
And we'll sing
We don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
(No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives)
Then one night as I stared at my ceiling
I could hear voices calling my name
Outside my window
I noticed the glow
Of an angry mob carrying flames
Well I could see that it was Evelyn's fan club
Each one with a tear in his eye
As we approached her domain
I taught them all this refrain
And then reveled in the sound of their cries
As we sang
We don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives