Did you ever hear the one about...



Oh, God I love myself

When i've got it on

i know I'll live forever babe

All my fears are gone



Then suddenly I'm dying

They turned the laugh track off

I'm drowning in the silence

Crucified by coughs



Oh, I am the laugh man

Half clown and half man

Half out and half in, oh mister can't you see?

I'm s'posed to leave you laughing, so why don't you laugh at me?



I started out my starvin'

Desperate for money

My belly crackin' dirty jokes

That did not come out funny

My neck stuck out so far

Like a gawky giraffe

Screamin' on a guillotine

"Come on, sucker, laugh!"



I am the guy who always catches the pie

I specialize in pratfalls

I am the goon who flashes the moon

A mouse in a house of catcalls



I'm your jester your juggler

Your joker your friend

I'm nothing more or less

Than a horse's nether end!



My ego is a bubble 

That I realize just broke

And alone without a microphone

My real life's a joke



Did you ever hear the one about...