Oh! Oh! Oh!
Unemployments rising In the chigley end of town,
And it's speading like pneumonia doesn't look like going down.
There's trouble at the fire station someone's had the sack,
And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get rid of Captain Flak.

Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate,
And arm themselves with CS gas - they're going to be out late.
We've had cant conformism since 1966,
And now subversions in the air in the shape of flying bricks.

Chorus:
Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
That they better start assembling the boys from the fort.
And keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
'Cos there's gonna be riot down in Trumpton Tonight.

All this aristocracy has really got to stop'
We could overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp.
The Chippy Minton Socialists could storm the market square,
And make plans to assasinate our aristocratic mayor!

Windy Millitant leads his Basque like corngrinders to war,
With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door.
But Snorty and the boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew,
Whereupon they bring about a military coup.

Chorus x 2