Well, 5:30 p.m. rolls around
There's a little old joint outside of town
I only got time for a couple of beers
And a juke box song ringing in my ear
The next thing you know the bartender's pouring
Shots a flowing, got me stoned and
All I really know is that I should be going
But I'm soaking up the moment

I'm all jacked up, all jacked up
Don't believe I've ever had this much
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Time sure flies when you're all jacked up
It was getting mighty close to nine o'clock
What the hell, I'll have one more shot
Then I winked at a boy at the end of the bar
Guess, I mighta must've gone a little too far

'Cause a big old girl walked out of the blue
Ten foot two with a bad attitude
Stepped right up and knocked out my tooth
I guess I had it coming, I deserved it too

'Cause I was all jacked up, all jacked up
Don't believe I've ever had this much
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't start no stuff when you're all jacked up

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here
That's what they said when I got my last beer
Oh my God, it's two o'clock
I can't find my keys and my truck's locked
So I grabbed a tire tool and I broke my window
Hurt my elbow, got me in though
Two foot later backed in to the light pole
All the town folk got a good show

All jacked up (all jacked up)
All jacked up (all jacked up)
Don't believe I've ever had this much
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't drive your truck when you're all jacked up

Jacked up (all jacked up, all jacked up)
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't start no stuff when you're all jacked up
One thing I've learned when you get tore up
Don't drive your car, don't start no stuff in no bar
Hell, I wouldn't even tell anybody where you are

When you're 
All jacked up (all jacked up)
All jacked up (all jacked up)
All jacked up (all jacked up)
All jacked up (all jacked up)