Were you nineteen or twentyone?
A crazy outlaw, living on the run
Your cowboy life we know’s a lie
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried

You were raised a rich boy, now you live in your car
You give your money to dealers or spend it all in bars
Your criminal ways, who can deny?
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried

You’re an art collector and a Russian spy
You’d run over animals, never bat an eye
Your gambling days have all come up dry
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried

(Instrumental verse, Keyboard lead)

Your manner with women has always been cruel
You’re the clown prince of learning, a yankee fool
Your lover days have all run dry
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried

You’re on a roll now, how long can it last?
Someone with your reputation, such a sordid past
Such a hard life? Don’t make me cry!
’Cause you couldn’t get arrested if you tried

Instrumental verse, Guitar Lead

I’m sure you’ll blame others for where you’re at
But hell you’ve been lucky, more lives than a cat
You brilliant life has come up shy
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried
You couldn’t get arrested if you tried