If you're gonna get paid
For playing other people's music
You'll probably wanna add some zing
And here's one way to do it

And I know that fancy mixing
Doesn't always make a good DJ
But still, my mom could put a CD in a deck
And make it play

"Maps of Reality"
By Assemblage 23
Has the same BPM
And is in the same key

As the track which you are hearing now
It's Beat Match 101
We'll synchronize 
The song's reprise
And then we'll have some fun

Because it's like a paint by numbers
Except for the DJ booth
Because a pause that lasts two seconds
Just sounds sloppy and uncouth

We'll make a beat match so precise
You'll leave the dancefloor thunderstruck
Because our mash-up will be organized
And not just sheer (Shear?) luck

"Maps of Reality"
By Assemblage 23
Is the subject of this mix
Because I think that song is neat

So whoever's at the decks,
Prepare to bring the real beat back
And cue it up to 9.7 seconds into the track

Because it's like a paint by numbers
Except for the disc jockey
'Cause two shoes in a dryer 
Pisses off my Tamagotchi

But train wrecks can be avoided
And we're here to show you how
So miss or mister DJ,
Drop the beat...*NOW*

Main synth in 5 4 3 2
And cue Tom's vocals
We'll end this shit when we reach the chorus