The Count has an eye on his ankle

He lives in a horrible place

He wants all your money

He's never at all funny

He wants to remove your face



You might have been thinking what a romp this is

But wait till you meet his accomplices



When you see Count Olaf

You're suddenly full of disgust and despair and dismay

In the whole in the soul of Count Olaf

There's no love

When you see Count Olaf count to  zero

Then scream and run away



Scream, scream, scream and run away

Run, run run run run run run run

Or die, die die die die die die die...