I wouldn't be glad wouldn't be sad

I wouldn't be good if I knew what I could

And I hate to go

But I must you know

Duty calls

Niagara Falls

See it go down

As it falls on the ground

And gets up again

At the count of ten

I would like everyone here to repeat after me

Something of which I know nothing about

Namely that which I will tell you

(That which I will tell you)

I'm going to school breaking a rule

I'm going around in a pityful frown

'Coz I didn't pass (came)

Bottom of the class (Oh! what a shame)

Teacher was mad

So was me dad

Took off his belt

And without any help

Really hit me hard

Where I'd stuck a card

Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not

Always remember the golden rule

When in no doubt get a car out

And while you're there how about...

Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills

Boy! I really love the sound that they make

So good for the pains and aches of life in general

Don't be such a miser

At the most a fiver's all you pay

Many's the time

I have wondered about what it is

I want you all to repeat after me

Something I know you know I know

(Something I know you know I know)

I wouldn't behold wouldn't be cold

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my

Dear old mum and dad

And the fun they had

Early one night

Dad put out the light

Got hold of me mum

Said he wanted a son

And as you can see

The result was me

Somebody told me once money does not grow on trees

Well if that's true then how do you explain

Apples oranges and lemons

Not forgetting melons