As you know when the girl of your dreams

Doesn't seem to exist

If you want my opinion then here's what it is

Don't tell your wife she'll kill ya

And who knows maybe one day you'll wake up

And walk to the door

Where's she's waiting impatient this daughter of yours

Saying give me away dad will ya



Try proving suicide is painless

And who are those that claim this

The only way to die and to die again

As I recall I entertain an empty hall



Doesn't bother me in the slightest if a mirror's cracked

It could be that a missing screw is all it lacked

I'll walk under ladders but the funny thing is each time

I do I go flying

I've had moments when depression seemed the only cure

days when doubts were all about but now I'm sure

despite loosing battles that I know if I could win

I've never been short of a smile



As you know you can stand to attention while wiggling your toes

it's a breach of the rules but in boots I suppose

You could be forgiven

As you go into work on a Sunday

You hazard guess wasn't Sunday the one day

we all used to rest

I've never been short of smile

You cannot have your cake and eat it

But given a piece why keep it

what purpose is being served 

if you leave it lying on a tray 

Only to be thrown away



If invited to a party as a rule of thumb

if there's not a kitchen in it I won't come

I known that it's boring but at least you don't have to speak

You just up the heat

If there's one good thing about me then it ought to be

Even when I'm up against adversity

despite my misgivings on the shape that I'm in

I've never been short of a smile

(It's so easy to forget) (Every time you draw your breath) (Should be hung up on the wall) (A reminder to us all) That however much we moan All our lives we've only one to live solo To be or not to be what is it About this phrase that gives it A meaning so profound That if Shakespeare were here today I bet he'd throw it all away Doesn't bother me the slightest if a cat is black It could be that a pot of paint had turned him that I'll walk under ladders but the funny thing every time I do I go flying I've had moments when depression seemed the only cure Days when I was burning up now I'm sure despite my resentment of the pain I was in I've never been short of a smile