When I used to find troubles come my way
I always wished they wouldn't stay
But I'm not so sure since you came along
Whether I was right or wrong.

If you ask me would I entertain the lions at the zoo
By singing in beside them just before their lunch was due
Would I do it? I'd do more, I'd do it with a smile.

If you ask me would I take a trip to Paris in the spring
And see the girls and watch the thrills and never do a thing
Would I do it? I'd do more, I'd do it with a smile.

I'm not a super sort of man, there isn't much that I can do but sing
Yet if you watch me at a fight, I could knock Joe Louis out the ring
If you ask me to be hypnotized and go into a trance
Or even pay my income tax just ten years in advance.
Would I do it? I'd do more, ya ma'am, I'd do it with a smile.

When we're all alone, no-one near to see
Foolish thoughts occur to me.
Maybe you can guess what they're all about
So I'll let the secret out.
If you ask me would I settle down and build a little home,
Carve the ham and push the pram. and never never roam.
Would you do it? I'd do more, I'd do it with a smile.

If you ask me could your mother stay and all your maiden aunts
Or suggest I take my trousers off so you could wear the pants.
Would I do it? I'd do more, I'd do it with a smile.
I don't know much about romance,
That is something I've been frightened of,
Yet someone taught me how to dance
So maybe you can teach me how to love.
If you ask me would I sew for you or knit some baby clothes
Or take the baby's nappy off and wipe his little nose.
Would I do it? I'd do more, I'd do it with a smile.