Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy

No matter what ailment you've got

But I know a special one you ought to try

You'll find it's the best of the lot

It's my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy, it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".

Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee

Don't kick up a shindy, you'll never get windy with Auntie Maggie's Remedy



If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning

You're bound to wake up I'll agree

But I'll bet you by heaven, you'll wake up at seven

With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy

In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake

My intentions were honest you see

She shouted with laughter, "I know what you're after

It's my Auntie Maggie's Remedy."



Oh my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy, it's guaranteed never to fail

That's the stuff that will do the trick

It's sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".

Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, or a pain in your Robert E. Lee

Don't kick up a shindy, you'll never get windy with Auntie Maggie's Remedy

Now when the baby starts crying, there's always a reason

And if you inspect him you'll see,

The poor little chappy has covered his nappy

With Auntie Maggie's Remedy



Now I went to a doctor, I wasn't too well

And he made me lie on a settee

He said "There's trouble brewing, you've been overdoing

Your Auntie Maggie's Remedy."

Now I know a girl who was putting on weight,

In a spot where it just shouldn't be

So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your – ankle, with Auntie Maggie's Remedy."