Super slicks and has beens,
They're accompanied by three men dressed in black,
One's a whistle, two are flags, quite often they're the drags
Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back.

Yes Match of the Day's
The only way, to spend your Saturday

Each side's eleven men, with numbers on their backs
But at a distance they all tend to look the same
But some own their boutiques, they clean up every week
Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!

But Match of the Day's
The only way
We spend our Saturday

And that's not all, our mates the keepers
Slippin' and sliding in the mud
Arms as long as creepers

Send him off Ref'***!!  ??
Where are your specs Ref'   ***!!!
Kick you to death Ref'!!XX**??
Oi! Are you deaf Ref'X* X*!!?

There's a few things before we go
That I think you ought to know
Obstruction, Body Checking, heavy tackles
So put on your hat and scarf
Have a drink, have a larf'
>From the terrace you can see your men do battle.

Yes Match of the Day's
The only way
You can spend your Saturday

Don't forget, the trainers with their sponges
Managers with open cheques, liquid business lunches
Send 'im off Ref'***!!  ??
Where are your specs Ref'!***&&&!!!
Kick you to death Ref'!!XX**??
Oi! Are you deaf Ref'X& X&