A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared early this morning
 Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat, suitably camouflaged
 They saw him catch the train

 Man-in-the-street:
 "Father of three it's disgusting"
 "Such a horrible thing to do"
 Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all for tea
 "He can't go far"
 "He can't go far"
 "Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
 "He can't go far"

 Man-on-the-spot:
 I'm standing in a doorway on the main square tension is mounting
 There's a restless crowd of angry people

 Man-on-the-council:
 "More than we've ever seen - had to tighten up security"

 Over to the scene at the town hall
 The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

 Lord Mayor:
 "Man of suspicion, you can't last long
 When the British Public is on your side"

 British Public:
 "You can't last long"
 "You can't last long"
 "Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
 "You can't last long"

 Harold:
 If I was many miles from here
 I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
 Instead I'm on this window ledge
 With the whole world below
 Up at the window
 Look at the window

 Mr. Plod:
 "We can help you"

 Plod's Chorus:
 "We can help you"

 Mr. Plod:
 "We're all your friends if you come on down and talk to us son"

 Harold:
 You must be joking
 Take a running jump

 The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold getting weaker
 Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
 Fearing the very worst
 They called his mother to the site
 Up on the ledge beside him
 His mother made a last request

 67-yr-old Mrs. Barrel:
 "Come off the ledge - if your father were alive he'd be very, very, very upset"
 "Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
 "Your shirt's all dirty and there's a man here from the BBC"
 "You just can't jump"

 Mr. Plod:
 "We can help you"

 Plod's Chorus:
 "We can help you"

 Mr. Plod:
 "We're all your friends if you come on down and talk to us Harry"

 Harold:
 You must be joking
 Take a running jump